Shards of Fate
by Iggy - Essence of Angst
Summary: Complete. A collection of ficlets featuring various characters. Mainly focuses on Miroku and Sango.
1. Empty Pain

**Blanket Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

_I notice that quite a few people like to do collections of 100 word drabbles. Iam going to attempt to do the same thing; however, mine will be a little different. Not all of them are going to be drabbles. Some will be quick one-shots, just because they are not long enough to stand on their own, and I don't want a huge list of stories extending my bio.I will be writing about all the different characters depending on how well I know them._

* * *

I have lost you. 

Maybe I never truly had you. After all, you were still learning what it meant to trust someone.

I'm not sure when it happened, but the empty heart I now possess aches with the pain I cannot forget.

After I attempted to reunite with you for the first time in fifty years, struggling with the deadened pain of a betrayal that shouldn't have happened… I saw you with another.

Not just any young woman. My reincarnation.

Why?

You let her take over. I may have been on your mind ever since _she_ woke you from the arrow-inducing sleep, but I cannot give you my warmth. I cannot hold you and feel any compassion that remains in you for me, nor can I give you any.

I am dead. I lack warmth, and I lack a soul. I have nothing to give you, to keep you here with me.

You remember me, yet you have forgotten me. You have forgotten _us_. There is no longer an _us_; fate did not want it that way.

I hate it, and I hate you. I hate you for forgetting, for allowing that girl to be at your side. I hate _her_ for smiling with you, holding hands with you, and _being with you_. I cannot forgive her for that.

And I cannot forgive you for letting it happen.

You heal.

I don't.

_I can't_.

_**This was Kikyou's POV about Inuyasha and Kagome being 'together'. **_


	2. Concerning Danger

**_These review responses are just to clarify some things. If you have read the bottom of the first page properly, you shouldn't have any questions about any upcoming drabbles._**

**mmm-ramen: **Just to let you know, drabbles are very quick things. They're not meant to be pages and pages in length. In fact, they're shorter than one-shots. There won't be just one character. I want to explore the personalities and thoughts of other characters without having to focus on a full chaptered story, and this is the only way I can do that. "Who is this "her", anyway?" Go and re-read it. I left enough hints, eg _reincarnation_. There is only one _dead_ female character that despises who is with Inuyasha right now.

**MapleRose: **Nope, I am planning to do different kinds of genres. However, certain genres will appear more often depending on the characters I choose to write about. See **mmm-ramen**'s response.

I watch your expression flicker with hurt. The insults come out so naturally, and they cause you pain.

There is nothing I can do.

This is the only way. You don't understand that, and I can't tell you that. You'll break the last wall I have. It's the only thing keeping you from me, and it has to remain that way.

Yet you insist on finding the cracks. You know me better than you did before, and I fear that one day you will understand me completely.

I don't want that to happen. It can't happen or else…

Or else you'll become attached to me, and he'll use you against me. He already knows that I will protect you at any cost. I'm not ashamed to admit that I will protect you as much as I can. Just as long as you think it's because I only care about finding the jewel shards. That used to be my main excuse. But now it's no longer an excuse. Without meaning to, I started to care about you as a friend, not just a forced travelling companion.

When? I don't know. I don't even know why I allowed Kaede to force us to work together.

It's the fact that I have failed before. Failure isn't acceptable, not when it comes to you.

_Saving Kagome has to come first_.

You are important to me. Don't you know that?

I can see it in your eyes. You know that I won't leave you in danger because we need you to detect the shards. But over time, I have come to the realization that you are my friend, although I can't say I know what a friend is. I've never really had one.

Does a friend risk their life for you constantly?

Does a friend smile and hold hands with you?

Does a friend put up with you constantly to the point that there are tears of frustration?

You've done all of that for me. But why do I feel guilty for something like that? It's not my fault you choose to be so ignorant.

_I'm just your precious shard detector. _

No, you're not. But you remain unsure about whether I really think so little of a _weak human_, a weak human that has suffered so much for me, and I will keep it that way. You will keep your distance while slowly edging closer, and I have to do this constantly to make sure you don't get hurt. I don't want the same thing to happen to you. I don't want to see you hurt. It's better that I do it than have you killed by Naraku.

After all, this truly is the only way to keep you safe.

Isn't it?

_**Inuyasha's feelings concerning Kagome. **_


	3. A Friend

_Of course… he's thinking about Kikyou_.

All those times when he went to see her, I would sit down and wonder about what they talked about. I never came, and after Inuyasha came back, he would never talk to us about it. A few times I even lost my temper, tired from all the 'secrets' they were sharing.

I loved him, and he didn't accept it. Or maybe he did, but he just didn't let me know he at least appreciated it. I would be so happy if he just told me, "Thank you for being my friend, Kagome." But he never will.

My efforts are rarely ever acknowledged in words. Although he saves my life continually, I always wonder if it's really because he cares about me, or if he is only concerned he will lose his _precious shard detector_.

Sango-chan and Miroku-sama always told me what a jerk he was for constantly going off to see Kikyou, because they knew how much it hurt me, but their words didn't give me much comfort. I was and still am afraid that one day, when all the shards are collected that he'll turn to me and tell me I should leave.

After all, I wasn't sent through a time warp for nothing. My task is not over yet, and as the remaining shards are extremely difficult to track down, I wonder how much time I have left.

I wonder if he really will go with Kikyou to hell.

I wonder if he really will turn into a full fledged demon as he often says.

My words will not make him change his mind, but I know that deep inside he does consider what we tell him. He just appears tough on the surface so we'll stop bothering him.

I know him better than he thinks I do, and that is the good thing about being his friend.

He doesn't fool me.

**_Kagome's observant thoughts about Inuyasha._**

**_I have a few San/Mir drabbles coming up. I will try and include some non-angst drabbles after the next one, but just to warn you, I have never been even close to satisfactory comedy, romance, or action one-shots. _**

**_Hope you are enjoying the ones I have up so far._**

**_No reviews no updates._**


	4. A Game

It is like a game. 

He grabs my rear, and I slap him.

As always.

I have to. If the others found out that...

_"I do not like Houshi-sama! He's a lecher, a thief, a liar... "_

How could I like someone like him?

All he does is seize each and every opportunity to give my bottom a caress.

But sometimes... I wish... I wish our relationship was different. It will always be a wish, because nothing is possible between us.

He sacrifices his life to save mine, and I don't understand why.

It's not like I'm worth it. If I'm so _special_ for him, as Kagome-chan says, then why does he treat me like this? Why does he act like this?

One minute he is a caring man, sensitive to my feelings, and the next, just a lecherous jerk.

I don't understand.

When will this game be over?

**_Sango's confusion about Miroku's actions._**


	5. A Little Girl

**_o.o I can't believe I did a Jaken POV... what's wrong with me! (In case you don't know, I hate that character. I despise him with every fibre of my being.)_**

Sesshoumaru-sama, I am in no way contradicting your decision.

I am simply curious as to why.

You unsheathed Tenssaiga and bestowed its power upon the body of a little girl.

Did she mean anything to you, or were you just testing Tenssaiga's true ability as a healing sword?

"If anything happens to her, Jaken, you will die."

You are extremely overprotective of her.

She is but a mortal.

A weak mortal. A little girl of no use to either of us.

Yet you insist on letting her travel with us. I thought you absolutely despised all humans, that they don't have the right to exist on this earth.

Maybe you didn't say it in words, but I can read your actions. Every time you head off, you leave a threat. If anything harms Rin, I am the one to suffer.

Why is she so important?

Is it because she showed you kindness?

Or is it just because you have compassion for her?

That's absolutely ridiculous! Sesshoumaru-sama has compassion for nothing...

**_Jaken's rather confuzzled thoughts about Sesshoumaru's choice to revive Rin._**


	6. Aneue

Naraku was defeated exactly three days ago. And although I know I should be happy about this, I'm not.

I should feel free. I'm not.

I should laugh and smile. I don't.

At least, not in the way that Ane-ue wants me to. She's constantly watching me.

"Kohaku, could you please come with me for a minute?" she asks, practically seizing my arm and dragging me out of the hut. She doesn't wait for an answer. She wants to spend time with me, all of her time with me before we have to go our own ways in life. She's afraid of losing me.

The truth is, I need to make amends for all the horrible things I did under Naraku's control. And I need to do it on my own. I can't have Ane-ue constantly pressuring me like this, even though I know she doesn't mean to.

Ane-ue needs to figure out what she wants to do with her life. As much as she says she wants to spend it with me, the days when we were innocent siblings are gone. They can never be retrieved, nor am I the little brother she so badly wants to revive in me. I am still her brother, but in a more mature way. She does not see that. If she does, she refuses to believe that.

Sometimes at night, after she thinks I have fallen asleep, I hear her crying. It breaks my heart, knowing she's crying because she fears I will be taken from her. It is understandable that she would have such fears. Even after all this time, I find it hard to believe that my mind won't suddenly be shut off and my hearing dimmed to only the one voice that gives me endless commands of slaughtering.

Then I hear the sound of another voice. A man's smooth, masculine voice as he comforts my sister. Although my back is facing them, I can still hear her quiet sobs and his attempts to comfort her, to reassure her that everything will be alright.

"It will be okay, Sango," he whispers, his voice just audible despite the stillness during the late night. "It will all be okay."

I am not the only important person in her life now, and I am not bothered by that fact.

But she needs to realize that.

_**Kohaku's thoughts regarding Sango's protectiveness.**_


	7. Insecurity

He sits down beside her. She doesn't move away, nor does she look at him.

"Sango," he says, thinking about what he wants to ask. He is not sure how to ask, so he proceeds with caution.  
"Is it alright if I...?"

She glances at him briefly, then turns back to stare into the fire. Her reply is quiet. "Just don't try anything."

Despite the slight warning tone, he accepts her answer and shifts closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. After a few moments in silence, he speaks again, his own voice growing soft and calm. "I need to talk to you about something."

This time she turns and looks directly at him. "About the marriage?" she asks. He notices the apprehension in her eyes.

"Yes."

To his surpise, she stands up, brushing his arm away. She walks over to the other side of the fire, her back facing him. A deep intake of breath can be heard, then she speaks, not looking at him.

"I'm sorry, Houshi-sama."

He is unsure of what to say to this, so he doesn't say anything, hoping she will continue. She does.

"I can't be a wife, Houshi-sama," she says nervously. "I was never taught the duties of a wife. My mother died shortly after Kohaku was born, and I spent most of my childhood years taking care of him. I couldn't talk to my father about those things."

He stands up and approaches her. He knows where this is going, but before he can say anything, she continues on.

"After we defeat Naraku, I would understand if you wanted to go your own way," she says. Her voice lowers to a whisper. "You would not need someone to bear your child, and I'm sure you are more used to keeping with your own company rather than to stay with others."

He places his hands on her shoulders and turns her to face him, although her gaze still lingers on the ground. "Sango." He puts a finger under her chin to make her look up at him. "I want you to bear my child, but not for the reason that you think. I want to raise a family with you, no one else. And you are wrong about what I plan to do after Naraku has been destroyed."

Her eyes widen and she opens her mouth to say something, perhaps to contradict what he is saying, but he effectively silences her by putting a finger on her lips. "I would prefer to stay with you no matter what. I don't care what you can and cannot do, as long as you are with me. That's all I want."

Overcome with emotion, she throws her arms around his neck and hugs him. He returns the embrace, kissing the top of her head and holding her close.

Although the Kazaana in his right hand has not yet been destroyed, time is meaningless at this moment.

**_This drabble is based on Sango's insecurities about their future, and Miroku's final decision._**


	8. Reincarnation's Shadow

Even though I've shown nothing but hostility towards you, you still insist. 

Why is that?

You could have left me in there to die again, to be devoured. Then you would have had Inuyasha all to yourself. Isn't that what you want? What you've wanted since the day _you_ freed him from Goshinboku!

Damn it. You're not me, only my persistently annoying_ reincarnation_. I don't know why he lets you stick around.

He says your job is to help collect the shards, yet you have managed to heal him in a way that I cannot.

You have been jealous of _my_ position with Inuyasha for some time. However, you refuse to do anything about it except show acceptance. You think that makes you a better person than _I_ was!

You are my reincarnation, and I despise you for that. You resemble me in appearance and in power. You can never be me, and for that, Inuyasha will never love you. He loved me first. You cannot replace me, no matter how hard you try.

I see a new respect for you in his eyes. He doesn't mind you by his side. He appreciates you, and he has learned acceptance. He has learned friendship.

So why?

_"If I didn't, someone would be very sad."_

But if you became injured or died, he would worry about you.

Don't you know that?

**_This drabble is based on Kikyou's thoughts from episode 98 (Kikyou and Kagome in a Cave) and in general towards the developing relationship between Kagome and Inuyasha._**


	9. Risk

_As soon as I think of a decent humor drabble, I'll write it. But if you've read any of my other stories, you'll know angst is my forte. Also, I'm working on my fluff skill, so some of that should be coming soon._

* * *

Why did you do that? 

Why _do_ you do that every time?

It hurts you, I can tell. Even though you don't say anything, I know the poison is weakening your system. You didn't have to take so much in for me; I can defend myself. Besides, why would you want to do something like that? You don't need to injure yourself just because you want to keep me safe.

Your breathing is shallow and your skin is pale. It is really starting to make me nervous. You've been poisoned before by the Saimyoushou but the effects have never been this bad and you have always managed to keep a smile on your face to hide the pain.

Not this time. You are lying there, eyes closed, sweat covering your brow. Kaede is getting your medicine ready as soon as possible so you can get better. Kagome, Inuyasha and Shippou are waiting outside. I don't understand why you feel you _have_ to do this every time.

Your hand has reached out to grasp mine. I don't know what you want from me, but then you open your eyes and your gaze connects with mine. You whisper my name and motion for me to come closer so you can say something.

_There is hope. So smile_.

Your words confuse me. What do you mean? Kohaku didn't come to –

Even though you don't say anything else, I can see it in your eyes. You're dying.

You took too much poison in this time.

Tears fill my eyes as the realization strikes, and I shake my head. No, you are not dying! Don't even think about it!You simply give me a faint smile and squeeze my hand, but I refuse to listen. I start to babble, saying that you still need to defeat Naraku. The group needs you to keep going. _I_ need you.

Oh god. Did I just say that out loud?

However, you don't react to my words. At all. Your eyes have closed again and your body goes still. I tighten my grip on your hand and shake you slightly. You still don't respond. Maybe you're just joking around, as you always do. I wait for the feel of your hand where it shouldn't be, preparing to whack your head, but nothing happens.

Now panicking slightly, I start to shake you a bit harder. I _want_ you to touch my bottom just so I know you'll be okay, like always.

You don't.

The panic has turned to shock. I am not crying. The grief I feel is more like anguished rage than sorrow.

You just had to take that risk to save me, didn't you! Damn you for that.

It's not a risk anymore.

* * *

**_Miroku has sucked in the Saimyoushou's poison many times to help the others. Sango does not realize how much he meant to her until it is too late._**

_Finished – June 16th, 2005_

_This was a little longer than I had wanted it to be, but I got the main idea across, so that makes me happy. Prepare for some fluff next!_


	10. A Reason To

_I know, it's been a while since I've updated this. But for the longest amount of time, my muse had no specific little ideas for a drabble. So this turned into a one-shot. The writing of this particularone will seem a bit rough in comparison to my others, but I'm writing it out as I go. Enjoy the hint of fluff.

* * *

_

It is a pleasant evening. The sun has started to sink behind the horizon, casting shadows among the trees and bushes. A group of companions are sitting in a campsite area around a fire, cooking what appears to be their dinner.

Three of the companions, a girl wearing rather odd clothes from the future, a kitsune, and a foul-mouthed hanyou, are sitting together on a log. They are deep in conversation, evidently arguing about a recent issue, so neither notices the absences.

* * *

Not too far off, on a hillside lie the other two companions. One, a taijiya, is wearing a pink and green kimono. The white ribbon that usually keeps her hair back and out of her face lies on the grass next to her, allowing her hair to flow out. Her gentle brown eyes observe the stars decorating the night sky, the merest implication of a childish smile curving her lips. Dark violet robes conceal the inner clothing that the other companion wears. A golden staff is by the monk's side. Intense violet-gray eyes gaze up at the stars before switching back down to study the woman beside him, a smile gracing his handsome features.

"It is a pleasant night, Sango," he remarks. She does not seem to realize just how intently he is watching her and she speaks, her voice flowing.

"It is," she agrees softly. After a moment she turns her head slightly to glance at him, and he steals this perfect opportunity to lean over and kiss her cheek, if only for a brief moment. Her eyes widen and a slight blush creeps up her cheeks.

"H – Houshi-sama?" she whispers uncertainly. He grins, although it is not the usual lecherous grin that so often crosses his features.

"Yes, Sango?" He leans closer to her on the pretense of kissing her again.

She shifts away, obviously uncomfortable, and sits up, looking out into the distance. The blush still darkens her cheeks. After a moment of tense silence, he speaks again, his voice breaking the stillness of the air.

"Sango."

"Why did you do that?" She doesn't look at him and her voice is barely louder than the breeze that ruffles her long hair.

He gets up, dusting grass and dirt off of his robes. Sensing that she wants to think, he turns around. Just before he leaves the area, he speaks softly, his back turned to her. "Do I have to have a reason?"

A long moment passes after he leaves. Slowly, a faint smile appears on her face as she gazes into the distance.

_No, you don't.

* * *

_

_**Do I really need to explain what this was all about? It was based on Sango and Miroku's feelings for each other around episode 90/100. It shows a bit of confusion on Sango's part, and how much Miroku cares for her.** _


	11. Within

_I apologize to InuKag fans out there, as this little one-shot doesn't even begin to really go in-depth about their relationship, but it's been a long time since I've written anything directly focused on this couple, and I wanted to take a shot at it. _

_I know I said I wouldn't post… but I just want to get this one-shot out of the way.

* * *

_

Kagome sat near the fire, the flame flickering in her eyes and casting shadows around the campsite area. The hanyou sat not too far away from her, concentrating his gaze on the firelight on front oh him and not on the dark haired girl sitting almost next to him.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, just to get his attention.

"What?"

"Do you still want to become a full fledged demon?" she asked, her voice sounding timid about the subject even though she knew the answer. He turned to look at her, irritation evident in his expression.

"Keh! Of course I do!" he retorted, glaring at her.

Kagome looked thoughtful, almost sad as she heard his answer. "But…"

"But nothing!" he said sharply, moving his gaze back to the fire in front of them.

The miko deliberately kept her voice soft. "Inuyasha, wouldn't you be fine the way you are?"

"We've been over this, Kagome. I'm not changing my mind."

"What are you trying to prove, Inuyasha?" Her question made him switch his gaze back to her, meeting her gentle brown eyes seeking out his. He faltered for a moment, frowning at the softly spoken question. She smiled, shifting closer to him and taking his hand in hers. He was too startled by her question to react right away, although it was clear that an internal debate was taking place. "Why is it that you feel so unacceptable if you remain this way?"

"Kagome," he began, then hesitated. The memories of his childhood flickered in his mind, and the familiar pain of being rejected and neglected all his life rose up in him. "Because I _am_ unacceptable. If you have power, you have control. And I don't want to be weak. I was weak during my childhood, and now that I have a chance to be something better, I'm not gonna let it go. So, for the final time, I _will_ be a –"

"You're not unacceptable to me," she whispered, gently tugging her hand from his and moving it up against the side of his face, as if she wanted to stroke the skin there. A sort of longing held her gaze as she looked into the golden orbs.

For a moment, the two just sat there, locked in each other's eyes. Inuyasha wasn't sure exactly what to say to that. "Kagome…"

"But it's not enough for you, is it?" Sadness filled her eyes and she let her hand drop.

Again, he faltered for a minute, struggling to think up something to say. He wanted to reassure her, to tell her that it wasn't because of her, that she _wasn't_ pathetic in his eyes, but couldn't muster up the courage to do so.

Instead, he whispered just loud enough for her to hear, "It isn't" before tearing his gaze from hers and bounding out of the campsite.

_I just can't tell you…_

* * *

_I know. The whole "I'm going to be a full demon!" issue is just a bit old. I've never approached it in this way before, and it is probably extremely clinchéd, but hey. It's a break from my usual stuff. And yes, the conversation from "Castle Beyond the Looking Glass" was the main reason for this._


	12. Given the Chance

_Just a quick note: From now on,I am actually going to try and do the 100 word count thing for my drabbles. It provides the challenge of being able to use much more descriptive vocabulary in such a short length of text. _

--

He wishes she would laugh, or least smile.

He likes the sound of her laugh, as it is a rare thing, and it sounds so pleasant and soothing.

Her smile only enhances her beauty when she is content enough to do so, and her gentle brown eyes light up in brief happiness.

But rarely does she do either of those things, for she seldom has reason for any of it.

He would give her reasons.

He would take away her pain.

If only he were given the chance.

Anything for her.

--

**Word Count: **91

**Theme:** Miroku reflects on how happy it makes him feel when Sango is content.

_I understand that the limitation of approximately 100 words will be a bit restricting with how much I can describe in such a short length, but I will do my best._


	13. Never Enough

_Yes. More angst._

--

She is the older of two siblings; when her brother is young she takes care of him as if she is his mother.

Later, she laughs and spends her time with him, enjoying happy times which will inevitably become traces of memories that belong to a distant past, never to be reclaimed.

She is a taijiya; at heart she will always be a fighter, for it is the life that her father wanted her to lead.

She keeps fighting for vengeance, although there is a sort of chemistry between her and the monk that she cannot understand.

Her brother is dead.

She tries and struggles and _keeps going_ until she can barely breathe.

The monk keeps his distance, yet there is something in his gaze that tells her otherwise.

She worries that she cannot give him what he wants.

She can only be so much.

It's never enough.

--

**Word Count: **148

**Theme: **Sango feels that she is failing both sides.


	14. Strange Companion

_This one was tough._

_--_

Kohaku.

He seems like such a nice kid.

Not that I spent all that much time with him.

I was captured by Kagura, and this boy told me he was sent to watch me. I didn't know what was going on.

I tried asking him questions. I like to talk, but people can find that annoying, so after a while, I stopped. He didn't yell at me, just stared blankly in my direction before saying that there wasn't much for him to say.

It was nice to have a companion with me while Sesshoumaru-sama was coming to save me. I told him that.

He certainly seems strange at times.

But he's a nice kid.

--

**Word Count: **114

**Theme: **This was Rin's POV about Kohaku's general nature. It was rather hard. It's not very good, but this was the first time I tried to write out Rin's thoughts. Any improvements for Rin's character are greatly appreciated.


	15. Deserving

_Forgive me if characterization is off._

--

Why can't she see it?

I would do anything for her. I love her smile and her cheerful personality.

But no. She has to travel around with mutt-face. Things would be so much simpler if she would just abandon him.

I've already told her how I feel. I've told her I liked her and I would care about her even more than Inuyasha does.

All he does is insult her. The only thing worth recognition of his part is when he _rescues_ her.

I could save her just as easily. She doesn't deserve him.

She deserves someone that respects her, that treats her like she's precious.

I would gladly do that.

Stupid mutt-face.

--

**Word Count: **113

**Theme: **Kouga's observations about Kagome and Inuyasha. His characterization is based on the dub.


	16. Despair

_Nothing new._

--

My cheeks are still red with embarrassment from earlier.

I find myself unable to look at Houshi-sama.

He shouldn't have known that.

I am certain that he thinks of it as friendship, though.

When I saw him lying there, so helpless and ill with the poison from the Saimyoushou…

I did not want to leave without him.

He is my companion, my friend, my partner in battle. When he lay there, so close to the brink of death, I felt despair.

Even though I tried so hard not to care for him the way I do now… even though I tried to keep him away from me, I failed.

The result is ironic love.

--

**Word Count: **114

**Theme: **Sango reflects on the near-death incident at Mount Hakurei.

_Is it just me, or do I seem to have a coincidentally accurate count of exactly 114 words for the past 3 or 4 drabbles?_


	17. Observation

_This is a brief one-shot, just to let you know. Hence no word count this time. I tried to do more insight on Kikyou, but I doubt I achieved much, if any at all. If I haven't… then I guess I'll have to wait until the episodes have been aired._

_--_

It is late evening.

She walks alone upon a hilltop and stops, observing all that is below her.

There are many rivers and valleys among the countryside. The moonlight reflects off of the flowing waters, and the evening air is slightly cool, the occasional breeze sweeping her long hair on her back. A few stray strands of hair brush across her face, but she makes no move to rid the slight annoyance.

A distant mixture of orange and yellow flames issuing from the logs of aged trees catches her attention, and she turns her gaze in the direction of the small fire. The sight of a girl in an odd green and white outfit holds her attention for a moment. The girl is speaking with the hanyou that sits beside her. The girl says something, the words unclear and slightly muffled from this distance, but they are smiling about something.

The older miko feels a rush of hostility towards her reincarnation, but it does not show except for the motion of the slightest frown. It fades from her expression rather quickly, and she turns to head back down.

She continues to walk down. Her expression never falters, and there is determination in her eyes. Now is not the time to dwell on what fate decided. What matters is when Naraku is defeated.

For it is the only way she can finally be at peace.

This was hard. I attempted the beginning of it many times, trying to decide what setting would be best for a character such as Kikyou-sama. This does not cover all the painful aspects of her life – that would take much more than a brief one-shot. I hope I improved on her character, even if it was just a small improvement.

--

**Theme: **A general observation of Kikyou in one of her more solitary moments.


	18. It Hurts

(It Hurts)

_Inspiration is a wonderful thing._

--

"I know there's a bond between you and Kikyou, and I can't just ask you to forget about that, but…"

At that moment, my temper had flared and I stood up, yelling at him about how insensitive he was. Not like it would make a difference anyway – Inuyasha had never been able to 'take a hint'. But I'd had enough of it.

I just didn't know anymore.

When I saw Inuyasha gently carry Kikyou away from the base of the mountain, it felt painful. I didn't want to have to watch the way he held her, as if Kikyou were the only person that mattered to him.

_I_ wanted to matter to him, and not just as a jewel shard detector. _I_ wanted to prove to him that I had accepted him in a way she could not have, even if she was my incarnation. _I_ wanted _so badly_ to prove my love for him, my acceptance, my affection, but he just didn't seem to realize how hard I was trying.

The only reason he had kept me around during the beginning of our travels was because I could sense the jewel shards. Once the shards were collected, would he…?

That was one thing I didn't want to think about, and I couldn't build up the courage to ask him for fear that the answer would not be the one I wanted to hear.

"_This is hard enough as it is, why do you have to make it so much more difficult! Agh!"_

I knew Inuyasha cared about me, at least as a friend. He almost cried in relief when I said his name after nearly dying from poison. That had to mean something. He'd also risked his life for me several times, although that could have been because of the original reason that he didn't want to lose his precious shard detector.

But he probably doesn't love me.

And that will never change. After all, Kikyou came first. She was stronger. She could aim and actually hit her targets, which is something I couldn't say when I first began trying to 'help' attack demons, and is still something I certainly can't brag about now. She was perfect to him. It was her who had originally accepted his company, and called him a friend.

Kikyou was there first.

There is a part of him that can never let her go. Her death only makes him have regrets about a destroyed past and a fated misunderstanding.

I can never truly be with him.

Ever.

_It hurts_.

Although I try to tell myself that she's dead, that he should realize he needs to move on, that I'll be there for him no matter what, I know it will never be enough.

I am a friend to him, nothing more. I should be grateful that he trusts me even after the type of childhood he had. I should accept things the way they are, because I know they won't change.

But in the end, I can't.

I love him.

He doesn't love me back… not in the way that I love him.

I am Kagome. I can be no one else. I can't be perfect.

_It hurts_.

--

**Theme: **Based on episode 109 "Enter the Base at Mount Hakurei!". Kagome's emotions regarding Kikyou and Inuyasha.


	19. Poison

**Poison**

_This scene has been done many times. There is something I wanted to explore past the "grope-slap" cliché, and I hope it comes across. It's not obvious, but there are hints of it._

--

I can feel my consciousness returning. I attempt to sit up and open my eyes, but before I can catch so much as a glimpse of my blurry surroundings, a hand forces me to lie back down.

"Just rest for now, Houshi-sama," a female voice says to me. Her tone is not reprimanding, but I can tell that the calmness is just a façade. Although her voice sounds calm and somewhat restrained, I can feel her aura: it is radiating suppressed anger and sadness.

"Where am I?" I ask, closing my eyes. I note how weak and hoarse my voice sounds. There is a pause, then I feel a damp cloth on my forehead, wiping away the cool sweat. Her answer is cold, and I sense that she is losing control on her temper.

"Kaede's."

I can also tell she is not in the mood to talk about whatever is bothering her.

There is a stretched silence between us, and I finally decide to break it and take whatever she is trying to hold back. I have a feeling that if I were not lying here, weak from taking in so much of the poison, she would smash my skull into oblivion for… for whatever it is that I have apparently done wrong.

"Alright. Say it," I finally say, my eyes still closed as I wait for her to speak, to say something and break this tense atmosphere. "I can tell you're angry."

I open my eyes again to try and see her expression as she speaks; her voice tends to betray what she is truly feeling, and if there is something other than anger towards me, I wish to see it.

"Do you know why I am angry, Houshi-sama?" she demands. Even though my vision is blurry, I can still see the fury in her usually gentle brown eyes. They harden as they connect with my gaze. Inwardly I flinch; I know I am in serious trouble.

"I have an idea of what it may be," I tell her.Her gaze does not soften, and I am starting to feel unsettled; I know that her temper is steadily rising and it will not be long before she truly lets her anger out. "So just say whatever it is that's making you so angry. I thought you'd be worried about me, Sango," I can't help adding. I want to maybe get a smile from her, my attempt at being humorous towards her lack of apparent concern about me. It fails.

She says nothing at first, then she speaks, her voice very cold. "I would slap you for that comment, Houshi-sama. I would like nothing better than to do that right now. But seeing as you are already in a fragile condition, and I would not like to take advantage of your condition to harm you, I won't." Her voice turns harsh and inwardly I wince although I outwardly show no signs of how her tone is affecting me.

"You want to know why I'm not worried?" she says again, this time actually sounding a bit dangerous. I thank Buddha-sama that I am ill enough not to be able to focus properly; otherwise Sango would throttle me mercilessly. "I'll tell you something: I _was_ worried!"

Before I can interject, to somehow calm her down, she continues on, effectively cutting off any response I might have had. "In fact, Houshi-sama, I thought you were going to _die_." Her voice is full of suppressed anger, but although she tries to hide it, there is an unmistakable quaver on the last word.

I sit up and reach for her hand in what I know will be a futile attempt to comfort her, but she slaps my hand away, an angry fire in her eyes.

"Don't you try to resolve things between us that way! I don't want to hear any excuses you have about 'sacrificing' your life for me, for the rest of the group, or for anyone! I don't remember asking you to do that. I'm capable of taking care of myself. I was raised as a fighter, a warrior, and if opening the Kazaana to save others endangers _you_ to the point where you can't even focus on me, then it's _not_ necessary!"

I freeze. Sango's voice has risen high, and she stops as if just realising how close to yelling she is. Her eyes have clouded over with tears as she lowers her gaze. If I wanted to say something, I know that now is the perfect opportunity. As it is… I am too stunned by her words to attempt speech.

"You – you lay here for three whole days, Houshi-sama. _Three whole days_. I – _we_ thought the poison had killed you. You sucked so much of it up… I…" Then her gaze breaks away from mine as her voice quavers just the slightest, and she allows her hair to obscure her face.

I want to put my hand on her shoulder and offer her some sort of comfort, as I sense her anger is only masking her fear. I want to tell her that I'm fine, even if I don't seem that way right now. But at this point, I cannot tell how she will respond to my actions, as she may mistake my reassurance as pity for her emotions. Therefore, I will keep my distance.

"Sango, I'm sorry. I didn't mean –"

"I don't want to hear it." Her voice has become low, and slightly reserved.

"Sango –"

"Don't argue with me, Houshi."

"Sango, if you will just give me a chance to -"

Her voice raises again, sounding firm and yet trembling at the same time. "Damn it, _Houshi! _Lie back down!"

There is no point in arguing with her, so I do as she says, although the atmosphere is tense from an unfinished argument.

But I wonder…

_What makes this time any different from the others?_

_--_

Later that evening, after my condition has improved considerably, I notice that Sango has not joined us for diner. Kagome informs me that the taijiya wants some time alone. I tell her that there are some things needing to be resolved between us, and Kagome reluctantly tells me the location, although she is quick to warn me to respect the taijiya and not try anything lecherous tonight.

I close my eyes for a brief moment and sigh in frustration. When will they learn that I _know_ when not to try something?

It does not take me long to find her. She is sitting on a hillside, the dim light darkening her face so that I can only see one side. I can tell by both her aura and her relaxed position that her anger has diminished, and although I know things are at a misunderstanding between us, I am only slightly reluctant in approaching her.

"Sango, may I join you?" I make sure to keep my voice as light as possible to make sure she knows I am not here to argue.

She stills for a moment as she hears my voice, then her body seems to relax again as she looks away. Her voice is quiet and reserved. "If I say no, will you respect my space?"

To most, it would sound like a question, almost a personal challenge, but I can tell by her choice of words that she is willing to let me sit beside her, as long as I don't try anything. Not that I would when she is feeling this way. I slowly walk over and quietly seat myself an arm's length away – respecting her space. I am unsure if she is ready to talk, and the silence stretches as I think of something to say. Just as I open my mouth, however, she beats me to it, her voice soft and a bit apologetic.

"I'm sorry."

"Sango."

"No, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. You risked your life for us. I should be grateful, not angry. You did a selfless act."

I tentatively place my hand on her shoulder. "I can understand your anger. I shouldn't have done that."

"I just didn't want you to die on us – on _me_." This time she makes no attempt to hide how much she cares about me; I can clearly hear the emphasis on that last word, and it makes a faint smile appear on my face. However, seconds after saying that, she stiffens and a light blush rises in her cheeks.

"Sango?" I gently inquire.

She looks down, as if realising the full meaning of what she has just let slip. "Houshi-sama… I… forget what I said."

"So you do care about me," I say softly. It sounds more like a realisation than anything else, and both of us, in that instant, know that something is changed – or has already changed – between us. She jerks her head back up, and stares at me. Despite the slight blush colouring her cheeks, her voice is strong, almost accusatory.

"Of course I do! You're – you're my _friend_, Houshi-sama!" she says. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I –" For once words fail me, as I struggle to think of a reply without sounding like I am stating the obvious. "Because you – I never thought – it's just that –" But the more I stammer, trying to find something comprehensive to say, something that will break the odd barrier of tension between us, the more I realise I sound like a blundering idiot. So I settle for silence, hoping she will not notice my increasing insecurity.

The truth is, _how can I tell her anything without… _

I can't even complete my thought, as it dwells upon the impossible.

"Houshi-sama?" Her voice breaks into my thoughts and I look back at her. She seems almost concerned for me. "Are you alright? You still look a bit pale."

"I'm fine, Sango," I finally manage to say. My expression is almost wistful. "I just didn't know you cared about me to that extent."

The blush deepens, and she looks away, intent on avoiding my gaze. I move my fingers to the side of her face and gently tilt it back in my direction. Her eyes widen, revealing surprise and slight embarrassment.

"Thank you, Sango." My voice holds nothing but sincerity. I just hope she realises that.

She says nothing at first, then after a moment, she whispers, "You're welcome."

--

Finished: November. 18th, 2005

**Theme: **I meant for it to be a little different than the others, but I don't know if I managed it. Basically, the idea here was to play around with the "grope-slap" issue whenever Miroku seems to be dying – but to extend past the surface of why they do what they do. The ending was inspired by "The Ninth Pain" by Scribe Figaro.


	20. Victory Loss

Anyway, I seriously doubt that this will actually happen in the manga, but it's something I wanted to write.

--

She fell to her knees in the dirt, splatters of blood on her taijiya outfit. They had finally defeated Naraku.

After all this time, they had finally destroyed him.

But Sango's accomplishment had been short-lived. Before she could yell out as much as a cheer in celebration for _finally_ eliminating the half-demon, he turned and shot a tentacle through Kohaku, who had been unfortunately unprotected at that moment. The tentacle ripped through the boy's upper back, creating a gaping bloody hole in the boy's chest and sending out the shard, which scattered onto the ground. Kohaku had not let out any sound of pain; the action had happened too quick for him to utter a sound. Just before Kagome's purified arrow hit the bastard.

But it was too late.

At that point, Sango, who had been about to throw Hiraikotsu in an attempt to distract Naraku so they could get one fatal hit in and end the battle, had frozen in horror. She had not been aware of Inuyasha's growl of anger, or of Miroku's supporting hand on her shoulder.

"Sango…" he tried, but it was futile. He'd lost her. He knew it.

Oh, she was still alive. She was breathing, and despite the various array of serious injuries all over her body, she seemed to be able to walk and focus on the matter at hand. But emotionally… she had been broken.

All because of Naraku.

She was cold.

Unfeeling.

She was aware of nothing but the empty look in her brother's eyes as his body flew backwards and collided into a tree with a sickening thud. The sound echoed in her ears, and it was a good thing Kagome's aim had been accurate, because if Naraku had been able to send an attack her way, she would have been killed almost instantly.

"Sango, Naraku's dead –" Miroku began.

"No!" Her throat felt constricted and she ran over to Kohaku, desperately hoping against hope that the shard had somehow been imbedded into his back so far that Naraku hadn't really ripped it out. It was a false hope, she knew, because she had _seen it happen._

But Kohaku was dead, and the impact stabbed her in the gut as she collapsed halfway to his body, summoning enough of her remaining strength to crawl over to him, gasping with the exhaustion from battling for so long and trying to ignore her own injuries.

She didn't hear anything; not the sound of her own name being called by Miroku, not Inuyasha's yell of victory only moments after Naraku disintegrated, not Kagome's cheer of glory. All that mattered was the little boy lying helplessly in her arms. His face was ashen white; blood streamed from his parted lips as he struggled to take shallow gasps of air, his hands spread over his chest in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding, which stained his clothes and skin.

She could not hold back the overwhelming emotion. No longer could she pretend to be strong, _because she wasn't_.

Tears dripped off of her face, falling onto his pale cheeks, splattered with blood and dirt. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, but could not. She had failed him. It would not matter; she could not save him. An apology would do little to amend what she had failed to accomplish.

This wasn't how it was supposed to end.

"Kohaku…" she whispered, barely managing to hold back the sobs that so desperately wanted to burst from her throat while clinging to him, feeling the warmth draining from his body at an alarming rate. "Kohaku, I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

She did not know what she was apologizing for, and it was not yet enough. It would never be enough. She was sorry about that fateful day when Naraku possessed Kohaku and used him to kill her father and comrades. She was sorry that she had ever believed Naraku's lie about Tetssusaiga at the risk of her friends. Although she had not been happy about her fragile determination to kill her brother to end the torment and suffering, she knew she would not have had to face him, to witness him destroying the lives of so many villagers.

She could have prevented it.

But she didn't.

In the end, she had won. But that victory had also been her greatest loss.

How ironic.

--

Finished – November. 12th, 2005

Typed and Re-edited – November. 25th, 2005

_This scene has been done way too many times. But angst seems to be what I'm best at…_


	21. Reassurance

_This one was a bit trickier to accomplish...

* * *

_

He slams into the ground, blood spurting from many various wounds. It stains his clothing and skin, and the smell of it causes her to withhold the urge to vomit.

An alarmed cry rises in her throat; after a moment of indecision, she runs over and kneels down beside him, cradling his body. "You shouldn't have."

He groans, his world spinning and his voice hoarse as he attempts to reassure her. "It's alright. I'm strong."

"You're not that strong," she immediately counters. "You are not as invincible as you think you are."

He says nothing, instead he grasps her hand. It is enough of a comfort for now.

* * *

**Word Count: **83 (not counting words that have less than 3 letters, which is how it should be done. Word's count function includes the 2-letter words.)

**Theme: **Could be either Inuyasha and Kagome, or Sango and Miroku. Sometimes people think they can withstand more than they are actually capable of.

_I probably didn't do this as well as it should've been done, and it feels like there's no emotion in it. Eh, I tried._


	22. Remember

_I know for a fact that people read these, despite not reviewing. So I'm going to request that you review this once because I would like to know something. I'm not directly asking for feedback (although that would be nice), but I would like to know: are the constant drabbles that involving either Kohaku, Sango or Miroku becoming too numerous?_

_---_

He sees her face, glowing with happiness and pride as he trains with the kusarigama.

And he remembers.

He heard her voice as she tells him stories smooth and firm and musical in the quiet of the night.

And he remembers.

He watches her as she throws the Hiraikotsu, her body moving parallel to the arc of the weapon, her stance perfect as a warrior, her face lit by the excitement of the battle.

And he remembers.

He kneels in front of Naraku, ready to obey.

And he forgets.

For it is the only way he can truly remember.

---

**Word Count: **99 (So close!)

**Theme: **Eh, another cryptic drabble thing I decided to write. Its purpose was not to make sense – hence cryptic. If you don't understand the last line, think about Kohaku's position.


	23. Reluctance

_Pointless. Yes, I said it's pointless._

_---_

He wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her against him.

She blushes, automatically stiffening, but doesn't feel a need to outwardly protest. The soft feel of the material brushes against her cheek, and his warmth surrounds her body, warming her and providing an unexpected comfort.

"Sango." That is all he says, but the tone inquires confusion about her reluctance.

"I'm sorry, Houshi-sama," she simply says. "I can't… I'm not ready."

He nodes, loosening his grip. Aware of how her hesitance is affecting him, she presses a bit closer to him, closing her eyes.

"But I can always do this."

**Word Count: **100!

**Theme: **Insecurity. So short that it's nearly pointless, but I thought, 'What the heck.' I doubt this one's worth much of a review, if any. I'll post some better stuff soon.


	24. Failure

_I had a notebook with all my incoming drabbles already labeled, so the title for this is not the original one. I have a feeling I had thought of a better one before, but as I have no idea where I put the notebook…_

_Apologies._

_--_

I tried, Houshi-sama.

I really did.

I tried to ignore the way you looked at me… the way you said my name… the way you so desperately fought for me.

But in the end, I failed.

The result is this: a relationship fated to end before it even starts.

That's why I could not allow myself to feel this way. I couldn't risk it, Houshi-sama.

But I failed.

So I try to forget.

I _have_ to.

--

**Word Count: **76

**Theme: **Sango's frustration towards her feelings for Houshi-sama, based sometime just after Mount Hakurei.


	25. Misunderstand

He asks her if she is alright, and he successfully tries to ignore the way her temper is steadily rising.

She yells at him for being such an obsolete person, for being _him_. Then _that_ word leaves her mouth, and five minutes later, he attempts to pull himself out of the ground.

She is angry and furious and upset because _he just won't understand._

That she tries so hard, just for him.

Her intentions are pure. Despite her inability and instinct to fight like the rest of their companions save for herbow and arrow, she willcontinue to give it her all.Everything she does is for him; she would risk her life if she could.

But it will never be enough.

Because of Kikyou.

* * *

**Word Count: **126

**Theme: **Jealousy and being misunderstood as a person.

_I think some of it was a bit awkwardly worded. _


	26. Trust

She skips along behind him, taking a moment to enjoy the scenery; every once in a while she nags at Jaken to play a game with her.

She always smiles and never questions where they are going, or why.

She trusts him.

It is he who saved her from the grasp of death.

It is he who fights for her, he who protects her. He who will go to any means to prevent her from harm.

All she needs to say is one word.

"_Sesshoumaru-sama_."

* * *

**Word Count: **85 

**Theme: **Rin's perspective about her 'father figure'.

_A bit lacking. It's hard to see what Rin might think in general, other than the obvious idolism she upholds for Sesshoumaru._


	27. Shard

_Wrote this after hearing a clip from episode 159 when Miroku talks to Sango about her decision to save Kohaku from the rats. Houko Kuwashima's voice brings tears to my eyes…_

_Probably the most decent thing I've written in a while, anyway. I think I'm getting bored writing for this fandom. :shrugs: Read on.

* * *

_

"… _what Kohaku has done is something that absolutely cannot be forgiven."_

I know that. The others know that. Houshi-sama knows that.

But I find myself unable to take a side when I confront him, and just when I believe I have no choice but to end his existence, however shallow it may be, he flees, and I continue to dwell on uncertainty.

It hurts, seeing him slaughter so many people and not care about it. Justice for all those lives can only be served once Naraku is dead… but even in the end it is likely that I will lose him.

He is my brother, but at the same time, he is not my brother. No matter what I tell myself, I cannot bring myself to raise the blade and strike his heart, to make it bleed, so that he will die, even though he is barely alive now. He is nothing but a puppet, something for Naraku to use against me and my friends. Something to endlessly challenge me with, because he knows the torment it will put me through having to witness what he has ordered _my brother_ to do.

I want to end his life, but I cannot. My mind tells me that _this boy is not my brother_ but my heart believes otherwise, that he can somehow be saved despite the guilt and tears. I want to believe. I want him to remember so that he can free himself, and he will be my brother once again. I want him back.

I want to see his eyes shine with happiness, but they remain devoid of any emotion. Even when he kills, I see nothing but the intent of Naraku through my little brother, and while I witness Kohaku's obedience in carrying out that bastard's orders, I know that my brother has made a choice; the choice of staying with Naraku.

The pain of having to witness him slaughter others…

I want to hear him laugh, but if I were to claim him back, it would be a façade to hide the guilt and anguish that Naraku has put him through.

He does not deserve to live, yet I want him to live. Perhaps it is a selfish thing, but I fear that I will not be able to go on without him. He is the boy that I raised; the brother that laughed when I told him stories by the campfire, the little boy that came running into my room, clinging to me when there was a thunderstorm outside.

If he dies, I will die.

Kohaku is no longer my brother.

That is the only real truth I know, the only thing that prevents me from succumbing to the darkness of knowing in the end what must happen, that which is inevitable.

And knowing that rips my heart apart every time I cross paths with him during our journeys. I don't know how much I can go on like this if he remains with Naraku.

The others tell him that there might still be a way to take him from Naraku's control, but I know it is Kohaku's decision. I know that my brother does not want to remember because he believes he slaughtered those people. Even if Naraku gave the order, their blood is still on his hands. Not Naraku's. Therefore, Kohaku would not be able to face the guilt. No matter how many times I tell myself that it was not his fault, deep inside I know that nothing is further from the truth. Regardless of the fact that his memories are within reach, that I am his sister, that I _want_ things to be as they once were, all is lost.

My brother is already dead.

That shard extends his life, and when it is removed, he will die.

It is as simple as that. To him. To them. To everyone.

I understand that, but a part of me refuses to accept me. I keep trying to fight what I know to be the truth, even though I don't want to.

So in the end, this is what it comes to.

I love Kohaku, and I hate him. I hate who he has become, because this is not the boy I used to live with.

And I keep going, because it is the only thing I can do.

* * *

**Theme: **Based on the episode mentioned at the top. 

_Three more, and I think I'm done. I just don't think I can continue writing these. Any concerns should be directed towards my profile page._


	28. Torn

_This has been sitting in my documents for months. I actually forgot I had it in there, but when I was feeling melancholy and went to type out a drabble of some sort, this was already there. I have not edited it in any way._

* * *

I don't know what has woken me so abruptly at this time of night, but I am glad. I instinctively shift over to the other side of the bed, hoping to find the firm body of the lovely taijiya I have come to care so deeply for, but my hand only grasps the sheet. For a brief moment, worry rises in me, then it fades as I hear the murmur of voices down the hall from another room. I lie back and gaze up at the ceiling, trying to listen for signs that would signal someone is in trouble, but there are none, and the walls are thick enough that the words are not distinct.

A few minutes later, Sango comes back into the room, and although the candle has been extinguished about an hour ago, I can still just barely make out the outline of her figure as she approaches the bed. She doesn't get in, however, and silently remains standing there.

"Sango," I begin. "Would you care to join me?" It is not really an invitation for her to join me in bed, but rather the casual suggestion of getting some sleep before we continue the hunt to find the last few shards. She does not say anything, and I sigh.

"I won't try anything, I promise. But Sango, do you really think I'd –"

She finally obeys, but rather than lying down, she sits down on top of the sheets, her back turned to me. She still doesn't say anything, but before I can open my mouth to speak, I hear a sniffle. My concern for her increases, and I sit up, reaching over to touch her shoulder.

"Sango, are you…?"

She shakes her head, but rather than withdrawing from me as she usually does when I reach out, she turns around and throws her arms around my neck, burying her face into my shoulder. Her entire body is trembling. I hesitate at first, fearing that she will think that I will use this opportunity to somehow take advantage of her vulnerable state, but then I tentatively wrap my arms around her shoulders, pulling her a bit closer.

"Sango, was it… have I…?" I fumble for the correct way to ask her for the reason why she's like this so suddenly without pressuring her for details. I can hear her attempting to hold back tears, and I frown.

"I don't know what to do anymore!" she finally bursts out. To me, the words sound almost broken, punctuated by quiet sobs. "He… ever since Sesshoumaru revived him… I just…" She stops to take a shuddering breath and pulls back from me, her gaze drifting to the sheets. The tearstains are evident on her face as she again attempts to speak. "I thought things would improve… but why…? I am his sister… yet he… "

I understand immediately what she is trying so desperately to say. "Sango, your brother has been through a lot. He – _Naraku_ – forced him to slaughter his family and comrades. Once he regained his memories, he was still forced to act like he didn't remember you while carrying out more atrocities. It is only natural he wants his own space; it will take time for him to heal."

Sango does not answer, and I gently tilt her chin so her gaze will reluctantly meet mine. "Sango, do you understand what I am saying?"

She stares at me for a moment, anguish and regret clearly written across her features. "I…"

"He needs time to come to terms with what has happened."

She covers her face with her hand and her hair surrounds her face as she lowers her head. Finally she speaks, although her words are barely uttered in more than a choked whisper.

"He is my brother. I want to help him. But he…"

"He is not avoiding you, Sango."

"He is."

"He needs his own space. After everything that he has been through, his perspective on things has changed. He is no longer the boy you once knew." Although I speak none other than the truth, I fear the damage I may caused in saying those words to Sango while she is in one of her more fragile moods. I wait for a reaction, whether it be an embrace for solace and hope, or a slap across the face. I will not say that I deserved a slap for speaking the truth, but sometimes the only thing a person really needs is to vent their anger and frustration over the things of which they cannot resolve themselves.

After a long moment of silence, I hear the sound of quiet sobs coming from behind her hand. I pull her back against me, and she shows no resistance as I reach up to rub her back in a soothing manner. I simply hold her as she cries into my shoulder, knowing that that is the only way for her to let go of everything.

Kohaku has never really been freed, and it is his sister who pays the price.

* * *

**Theme: **Sometime after they have claimed Kohaku back, but before the official marriage between Sango and Miroku. It is meant to display the torn feelings Sango has between her duty as a sister, and the sense of knowing that she will never have her brother completely back, so she must come to terms with what fate has given her. Miroku always has a wise word for her, even if it is not what she wishes to hear. 


	29. Communication

_AU_

_I wrote this while in a melancholy mood. I hope the emotional atmosphere is expressed appropriately as I envisioned it. I suppose some of May's L'espoir Faux came to me while I wrote it._

--

The sound of rain pattering against the cement fills the silence around them.

She stands there, facing him. The words that have just fallen from his lips slam into her heart and mind. She did not previously dare to voice her realizations of what it would eventually come to; her fear becoming a reality she does not wish to face.

"What are you saying?" she asks, practically demanding it. Her eyes are wide with slight shock, although his confession should not have surprised her the way it did. The way he stands there, so stiff and distant, clearly wanting to avoid a harsh confrontation, only emphasizes the regret he has. He stares intently at her for a long moment of silence.

His voice is low when he speaks, and his calm expression, almost void of any emotion, does not reveal the turmoil that resides within his own heart as he hears his own words. "You heard me. You knew this was coming."

She wants to approach him, but her feet will not obey her. She is surprised to hear her own voice sounding so strained, wavering just slightly out of control. "That doesn't justify your actions."

He says nothing, but from the corner of her eyes she sees his fist clench. He wants to say something, and it is with great difficulty that he speaks again. His voice sounds almost painful to her ears. She does not want to hear his excuses, his lies for breaking her trust and leaving it shattered.

"I didn't know how to do it any other way," he says at last, his tone barely audible and lacking of emotion.

"You could have told me," she states shrilly, her voice starting to crack. She swallows the lump in her throat and holds back the tears that are on the brink of falling. "You could have said something. Anything."

Seeing her eyes sparkling with tears barely held back, he softens his voice and steps forward, perhaps, to put a hand on her shoulder. "I feared it would only hurt you worse."

She jerks backward, away from his reach, her body rigid with anger and self-loathing for what she could have done, _should have done_ to break down the wall. Before things came to this. Before, when she had a chance to prevent her illusionary fear from becoming a reality, a reality of pain and anguish and deceit. Her voice becomes dangerously low, and he senses an anger that has overcome all emotional pain, at least for the time being. He wisely backs off, but the impact of her words only fills him with more regret.

"There is nothing you could ever do to cause me more pain than to deny me the truth by your actions rather than your words."

She steps forward, her expression full of desperation.

"What the hell was I to you? A girl to be pitied for losing her family in one night? A girl to fuck around with, to keep you content while you played behind my back and searched for someone who could give you greater satisfaction?"

Her fists clench when he appears to have no defense, no lousy excuse for what he has implied in the past several months.

"You were always more than that, Sango." At last he calls her by name, but the sound of it causes her to flinch.

"Really?" she retorts, her nails biting into her palms. "Your actions… they tell me otherwise. I was a fool, for not confronting you and admitting what I saw. I was a fool for letting it go on this long." The last words end with a sob that comes from deep inside her throat.

"No. It was my fault – " he begins, but she abruptly cuts him off. She can no longer hold the tears back, and they stream down her cheeks, mixing with the rain.

"You're fucking right it was your fault."

He goes silent and his gaze falls to the ground.

"I'm sorry."

She backs away even further, unwilling to hear whatever apologies he has thought up. "This is all my fault, right?" she says sarcastically, nodding to her own words to emphasize them, as if she truly wants him to agree. He looks back up at her. For the first time since this confrontation began, guilt is clearly written across his features. "I should have known. I should have said something, confronted you." Her tone changes to a bare harshness. "I'm such a fool. I should have expected for you to turn your back on me, to break my trust by not at least confiding in me."

He opens his mouth to contradict her, but no words emerge. She glares at him, daring him to argue, daring him to deny what he has done.

"I'm sorry," he repeats, although he knows she is unwilling to listen to any sort of remorse.

The glare fades away, and she turns. Inwardly he breathes a sigh of relief. She did not slap him, or scream at him, or tell him she never wanted to see him again. Suddenly she stops, and without turning, says:

"I'm sorry, too. I thought you trusted me enough to tell me the truth."

The sound of rain pounding on the concrete fills his ears, and a tear falls down his cheek.

--

**Theme: **The consequences of realizing just exactly what your actions can do to the other person. Communication is essential. Need I say who the characters were?

_One more to go._


	30. Finality

_This is the final ficlet. The end. No more, no continuations.

* * *

_

"Ane-ue, breakfast is ready!"

I hear him, but I cannot seem to get up.

"Ane-ue!" The sound of his footsteps are coming closer, and then I can sense him standing slightly behind me. I can just see him out of the corner of my eyes. He tries once again to get a response from me. "Breakfast is ready, Ane-ue"

I want to hug him.

"Ane-ue. Come on, you have to eat."

I want to hold him.

"Kagome-chan says you've been here all day. Don't do this to us."

I want to tell him how much I love him.

"You have to eat, Ane-ue. I know things have been… devastating for you lately, but you can't just allow yourself to waste away like this. It's been a week. You need to start accepting it."

The only response I can possibly, hopelessly give him is the extent of my pain, and the harsh reality of death.

Now he is grasping my shoulders, shaking me gently. Anything to get my attention, to grab my focus and to keep me from emotionally slipping away. Anything to keep me _alive_, to reassure himself that I will not leave him.

"Ane-ue, please. You need to keep going. He'd want you to, wouldn't he?"

How ironic that it is my brother, of all people, who is telling me this.

"Kohaku."

"Stop letting your grief overcome you. He did this _for you_."

What my little brother says is true, but he has never had to witness death happen to someone he loves. He does not understand the pain, the burden of loss and the harsh reality that comes with it. My grief may be apparent to him, to the rest of them, but my anger lies just below the surface.

"He should not have had to."

"A_ne_-ue –"

"If I had been paying attention, he wouldn't have had to push me out of the way."

"He wanted you to live."

My gaze hardens as I read the tombstone. "I don't want to live. There's no reason to keep trying."

Now my little brother is crying. He tries to keep his voice steady and pretend to hold the tears back, but I know him. He has never been good at keeping his emotions hidden.

"Don't I matter to you?"

"You are already dead, Kohaku. You know the shard has to be removed."

"So you're just giving up?" he pleads.

"I have never given up."

"How can you say that? What do you think you're – "

I finally turn to face him. I have not cried once for Miroku. It is not because I don't care. I care so much it feels like my heart has been ripped out. I smile, although it's full of mockery.

"Naraku is gone. Houshi-sama is gone. You will die when your shard has been removed. There will be no reason for me to exist."

-

-

Where is the sister I once knew?

I can hear what she is telling me, but I am unable to process the words.

_No reason to keep existing?_

I try once more to change her mind. I know she is hurting, and in desperation to escape from the pain, she will take her own life. Miroku-sama told me, seeing as he was once told by Inuyasha that she would gladly end her own life as a sacrifice – or to end the torment once everything has been completed. It is a harsh truth, and one that I cannot seem to convince Ane-ue from resorting to, but it is her truth nonetheless.

Yet she will always fight to the last, and that is what makes her so admirable.

"I don't understand. Miroku-sama would have wanted you to live the rest of your life. He would have wanted you to be happy. Even with…" As I say these words, I hope I am not hurting her. I only want her to be happy; this person is a shell of the sister I once knew. "… even with someone else."

She has turned back around to gaze at the tombstone that bears the name of the monk. I am not sure if she is actually listening to me, or just pretending to hear what I say.

"Ane-ue?"

Suddenly she falls forward. Her body has become limp and her skin is pale. For a moment, I fear she secretly took her own life with a hidden weapon, but as I kneel beside her and hold her, I cannot see any signs of blood.

"Ane-ue!"

Her eyes have closed and she does not respond.

Scared for her – and for me – I run to get help from the others. Perhaps they will know what to do.

--

Half an hour later, Kagome comes out. Her expression is full of worry. I run to her, anxious to hear the news.

"Is Ane-ue going to be alright?"

Instead of answering and attempting to calm me, she gently grasps my hand and leads me over to a hill where we can talk in privacy for a few minutes. Normally I would demand for an answer, but this is Kagome-sama, and by the troubled look on her face, I somehow sense that she will tell me what has happened in her own fashion. Even if it is not a direct answer.

She sits down and motions for me to do the same. I obey, although I keep a short distance between us. Although I consider Kagome to be a friend and I respect her as a priestess, I don't feel very comfortable around anyone just yet. She opens her mouth to speak and I listen attentively.

"Kohaku," she begins quietly. "Your sister has been a very strong person. Even after everything she's been through, she always managed to keep going. She is a very admirable person." She attempts to crack a joke. "I still haven't figured out how she was able to handle Hiraikotsu so deftly in battle."

"So is she going to be alright?" I ask again, the panic in my heart rapidly increasing. "You're not implying anything by that last statement, are you?"

She glances at me, and her expression is more somber. Still, she says nothing.

"I don't want her to die, Kagome-sama. I want her to live because she's still got her life ahead of her, and Miroku-sama would have wanted her to be happy. Why can't she understand that?"

The young priestess keeps silent for a moment longer, then voices her thoughts. "She does, Kohaku-kun. But she's lost _everything_ close to her. She knows she will have to accept your death. It's only a matter of days, and she doesn't want to face that. Eventually… if she doesn't do something soon, she will allow herself to waste away."

My frustration increases, although I keep it below the surface. I do not wish to vent my feelings regarding my sister towards Kagome when she has does nothing to cause this situation.

"She could at least live for him."

Kagome remains silent, gazing out into the distance. Then she turns to look at me.

"So is she going to die?"

Her silence is frightening me. It's as if she knows, but she doesn't want to acknowledge it. Even if Ane-ue is alive, she does not have the heart to keep going. Not after this. We both know that and it hurts.

"Kagome-sama…?"

"_Live, for me."_

I'm not sure if I want to hear the answer, yet I have to ask. She stands up and opens her mouth as if she is about to say something. She hesitates, then closes it and heads back to the hut.

"_Please, Sango. I want you to keep going for me."_

"Kagome-sama!"

"_I'm right here with you."_

-

-

Written – May 12th, 2006

**Theme: **So, what do you think? If you're sitting there and thinking, 'Well, _did_ she die?', that is up for you to decide. I left it partially open so you, as a reader, could interpret this in any way you felt was reasonable.

_Okay, honestly I think this could have been better. Why didn't I rewrite then or switch it for something else?_

_I wanted to leave the final ficlet at an open conclusion._

_I didn't want to have to think up something else. I was already losing interest in the fandom as I wrote this. (By the way, halfway through this ficlet, Kagome was starting to take on the wise characterization of Kikyou! So part of the conversation had to be deleted.)_

_I apologize, as this is most definitely not one of my better works. But you know what? I got tired of the fandom **months** ago. That's why it took me so long to write these last few ficlets. I had no inspiration from the series itself, and no motivation with which to write anything. _

_Check my profile for any upcoming updates._


End file.
